the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
