Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
