he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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