Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
