Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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