She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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