i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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