and she was petting her beer can
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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