fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
they're like a gay fantastic four
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
