Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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