Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
