I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
