whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
