So drunk, too bad you don't want this
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
