There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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