I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
