Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
