I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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