If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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