Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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