i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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