KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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