I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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