he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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