please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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