There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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