Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
