he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
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