yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
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What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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