Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
