I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
