Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
