need another drink. this is the easiest way
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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