Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize