It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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