when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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