so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
