New low: just hacked my moms facebook
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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