Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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