Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
