i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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