Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize