I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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