i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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