gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i came on her dog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
