I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
