dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
