I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
