My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
