HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
