This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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