Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
