i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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