Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you traded sex for a burrito?
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low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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