We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
