well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
