Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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