i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
